Aug 7, 2017

I Am A Self-Conscious Pill Bug

About a year ago, I moved from the “leggings aren’t pants” party over to the “leggings should be the only pants that ever exist as long as your shirt covers your butt” party.

I like it better here. It’s like wearing pajamas all the time. Only pajamas that suck my gut in because I wear the premium leggings from Torrid (they come in such awesome colors!) and they’re like wearing a girdle. So slenderizing.

There’s only one problem with my love of leggings: I can’t really wear flats very often with them. Instead, I have to wear big, clunky, running shoes because they’re the only thing I can fit my old-ladyish orthotic insoles in, which I absolutely need because I’ve had reconstructive foot surgery on both feet in the last year and I'm not about to go through that again!

Sadly, I have to wear those clunky orthotics with socks.

And I think the entire combination looks ridiculous.

I mean, you can see my socks. Every time I wear my leggings with my socks and sneakers, I come close to having a melt down. Is everywhere staring at my socks? They must notice! They’re probably pointing and laughing.

It makes me not want to wear socks. It makes me not want to leave the house. How can I bare the shame of being the chick who wears show-socks (as opposed to the no-show ones that crawl into your shoe every time you take a step and are really impossible to wear) with leggings!?


While I know that if anyone is really examining my socks, they seriously need to get a life, I still can’t help but feeling like people are looking at me. Like they are judging me for daring to wear socks and sneakers with my leggings. It triggers such anxiety every single time.

I am self conscious to an insane degree and it makes me want to curl up like a little pill bug and never leave the house again.

I don’t want to stand out. I don’t want to be seen.

I don’t want my stupid effing socks to be seen.