Therefore, in the interest of keeping it real, I’m going to lay down some personal truths for you all right now.
I am overweight.
I am unhealthy.
And the worst of the worst: I am unhappy.
That’s where the Wilder Way comes in (hopefully!).
I WAS THAT SKINNY GIRL YOU HATED
Don’t hate me for admitting this, but I’ve never really had a weight problem in life until now. Okay, there was that year or two in middle school where I had to go on steroids for chronic sinus infections and I gained a lot of weight, but it all just melted right off me after and I could carry on as my (on average) size four self. My whole life, I’ve been thin. My dad used to call me Skinny Minnie and my mom called me her little Peanut because I was just tiny. As I crept through my 20’s, the inevitable slowing of my metabolism happened. I gained some weight, but I was mostly okay with it.
Then came chronic stress. And adrenal fatigue. Leaky gut. Hashimoto’s Hypothyroidism. Depression. Anxiety.
And the weight kept coming. Pound after pound.
Nothing I’ve tried has stopped it. Even as I work to try to heal my gut and thyroid, I’m still gaining weight. Even after cutting out gluten (most of the time--come on, I’m human!), I stilled gained weight. If I only ate kale for the next month, I would still gain weight.
It sucks.
I know not everyone out there can relate to my personal journey. I’m sure someone is thinking, “Oh no! Poor skinny girl doesn’t like being a bit chubby for the first time in her life and we’re all supposed to feel bad and sympathize with her. Boo hoo!”
That’s not really it. I don’t really care if you can sympathize with my journey. I likely can’t sympathize with yours entirely either. I do know that almost everyone can sympathize (to some degree) with how I feel about myself though.
I feel clumsy and ungainly. I feel like a sausage squeezed into my leggings. I feel embarrassed. I feel like I should cover myself or hide myself. I feel like I shouldn’t be seen. Don’t deserve to be seen. I feel like I should just buy a potato sack (a really big one) to wear. I feel unpretty and unlovable. I feel like a stranger in my own body. I feel gross and disgusting.
I also feel unhealthy.
I’ve got too much weight around my stomach, increasing my risks of certain cancers. I get bloated all the time. My newly reconstructed feet (after two insane surgeries) don’t appreciate carrying around this extra weight. I have brain fog. I have no energy. I get winded walking up the stairs to my office. I get winded walking up the stairs to my bedroom!
And all of that together? It’s unacceptable. It’s not okay, and I’m tired of waiting for it just to go away because the truth is? It’s not. Not unless I do something about it.
Something needs to change.
I’VE NEVER BEEN ON A DIET AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO START NOW
I’ve never been on a diet and I’m honestly not about to start now. The connotation of the word diet is so twisted these days anyway. It brings to mind thoughts of deprivation, elimination, driving by Dairy Queen and drooling as I dream about a Blizzard I will never eat again. A diet is punishment inflicted on my body for something it did wrong. Only it didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just hurt and sad.So I’m not going to do that to myself. What I am going to do is start a new eating plan that my dear friend introduced me to months ago. It’s a plan to divorce me from sugar and jump-start my metabolism.
It’s not about eliminating whole food groups or depriving myself of things I love. It’s about planning out the food I eat in a smarter, healthier way that will allow my body to heal from the abuse it’s taken over the last few years while still providing all the nutrients and energy it needs. It’s about eating all the foods I enjoy but just in the right combination so my body doesn’t store all that delicious yumminess as extra frosting to my cupcake top (it’s what I call my muffin top).
It’s called the Wilder Way and it’s outlined in the book Big Girls Do It Running by Jasinda Wilder.
And I already started it last week! Weeee lookit me go.
Disclaimer: To be honest? I've had some reservations about doing this eating plan because it does incorporate and recommend some foods that I personally find too processed, especially since I've spent the last few years trying to clean up my diet. I always find "low fat" and "no fat" alternatives to my favorite foods (like Greek yogurt) to be suspicious. But I had to remind myself that it's important to be balanced. I need to lose weight. I need to regain my health. This plan has worked so amazingly well for someone I love very dearly, so I'm going to give the eight-week version of the plan a go and do it as "clean" and natural as possible.
