Sep 5, 2016

Chocolate Ba-Nutter Smoothie

“And you should drink a smoothie every morning for breakfast.”

Suddenly, I felt like Brian Regan when he was facing his doctor: “And no more happiness!”

I was sitting across from my naturopath doctor, listening to my doom. I was already going to have to stop eating pancakes, toast with avocado and crumbled bacon (or toast with nutella and bananas--yum!), and every cereal ever made aside from Cheerios for breakfast because I needed to go gluten free. Now he wanted me to replace all that deliciousness with smoothies?


My first experiences with smoothies a few years ago were not so great. The chunks of blueberry skin made me gag. The ground flax made me gag. The chemical aftertaste and grittiness of protein powder made me gag.

Do you see the pattern here? Smoothies made me gag!
Chocolate Banana Peanut Butter Protein Smoothie Recipe | Hot Pink Crunch

Aug 22, 2016

11 Tips for Going Gluten Free

I went gluten free recently. It sucked. I literally mourned the loss of wheat in my life.

Then time moved ever onwards as it has the tendency of doing, and I kind of got it over it (sort of). On days when I’m not over it, on days when I would like to visit the grave of my gluten-filled life, I will gluten myself with something like onion rings (because onion rings mmmm).

Then my stomach bloats out to twice its size, and as run to the bathroom for the fifth time to poop my brains out, I think to myself: “Oh yeah, this why I gave up gluten in the first place!”

Also: “I should invest in toilet paper stock because eating gluten sure makes me use a lot of it.”

Clearly, even with the very compelling reason of not wanting to spend my life sitting on the toilet (it makes my legs go numb), going gluten free is still hard. Anyone that tells you differently is selling something.

Going gluten free is difficult, frustrating, and unfair but there are a few tips that can make the process a little less terrible.
11 Tips for Going Gluten Free | Hot Pink Crunch

Aug 8, 2016

20 Secrets of the Mysterious Menstrual Cup

So, you've taken the menstrual cup plunge.

You spent hours reading blog posts about why they're the best thing ever. You measured your cervix (how that'd go for you? #awkwardlifemoment) and determined what size you need. You picked a company, held your breath, and ordered your first cup. Then your little box of joy, containing the supposed cure for all that ails you during menstruation, arrived!

And you stared at it like, "WTF!?"

I know. My dear friend Overthrow Martha first introduced me to the wonderful vampire wine goblet that you shove up your vagina back in 2014, but it took me over almost two years to move from, "This sounds really gross" to "I'm intrigued" to finally "I'm getting one of these things!"

And once I got it in the mail? I didn't know what to do with it! I mean... it was hard enough figuring out how to put a tampon in the first time. My first menstrual cup was 100x more intimidating!

Many months and menstrual cycles later, I've learned a LOT. And I've learned it all the hard way.

Fortunately, I'm willing willing to share my tips and tricks with you!

20 Secrets of the Mysterious Menstrual Cup | Hot Pink Crunch
(pelvi menstrual cup pictured)

Jul 25, 2016

My Monster Has a Name (and It's Anxiety)

“I think--” I started and hesitated. “I think I might have anxiety.” I made this admission to my husband late one afternoon as we went for a lazy stroll together by the lake.

“You think?” he responded incredulously.

“Yeah. I just-- wait, how long have you known?”


This may seem unbelievable to some people, but I really didn’t know.

My personal monster has a name and it's anxiety | Hot Pink Crunch

Jul 11, 2016

Why I Cried at a Farm: A Seed to Seal Story

We drove down the dusty Utah highway. It was only 11am but the sun was already hot. Still, we kept the windows down and let the warm, dry air cool the sweat off our faces before it could fully form.

The bossy voice from Google Maps told me to turn right up ahead. I listened, slowing the little put-put rental car down as we exited onto a country road. Only a half mile off the highway, the fields sprang up on either side: golden, purple, green.

And despite the fact that I like to think of myself as a very unemotional person. Despite the fact that I swore to my friends that I would not be crying when we went to Utah together.

Tears quickly filled my eyes.

We had arrived at Young Living’s Whispering Springs Farm in Mona, Utah.
Why I Cried at a Farm--A Seed to Seal Story

Jun 30, 2016

The Hot Pink Crunch Is Here!

The Hot Pink Crunch has arrived!

Be excited. Be veeeeerrrry excited!

The Hot Pink Crunch has replaced AskOily. We took AskOily out back and left her there. The Hot Pink Crunch is so much more meeeee. And who doesn't want more me!? Exactly!

So be prepared! It's about to get a little wild up in here.

Jun 6, 2016

Drop by Drop: The Real Price of Essential Oils

I’m a budding entrepreneur. I’m a part time administrative assistant at a local community college. I blog. My husband is disabled. I’m thirty years old and live in a bedroom the size of a closet in my parents’ house.

Let’s face it, I’m not rich. In fact, far from it! I know how to scrimp and save with the best of them. I’m that person you almost ran over in the supermarket parking lot because I stopped in the middle of the road to pick up fallen pennies.

So it’s amusing to me when people talk about my essential oil use like it’s some really expensive drug habit. People just can’t comprehend how I can afford essential oils.

How to afford an obsession with essential oils | Hot Pink Crunch

The secret: quality essential oils aren’t really that expensive.

May 23, 2016

The Sandman Spray

Dear Oily,

I love using my essential oil diffuser at night. Unfortunately, my boyfriend does not like essential oils (yet!). He doesn't want the diffuser running at night when he's there.

Is there another way to use essential oils to help me sleep without using a diffuser at night?

Thanks for your help,

Dear Sleepless,

Oh boy! I guess you probably don't want my solution to be dump that guy and find someone else, huh?

I kid. We'll save that for Plan B!

Sometimes it does take people (men especially) a while to come around to essential oils. Once you get them hooked though? They'll be secretly in love forever. Until you've made a crunchy convert out of him, we can't have you losing any sleep! My solution: The Sandman Spray.

No, I didn’t name it based on Neil Gaiman’s Sandman character. I was thinking more about that creepy little fae creature that sneaks into your room at night to sprinkle dust in your eyes so you sleep better and have good dreams.
The Sandman Spray DIY Recipe Natural Sleep Essential Oils | Hot Pink Crunch

I don’t know if this will make you have good dreams, but it should certainly help you sleep without ever needing to turn the diffuser on!

May 9, 2016

Four Steps to Make a Simple Salve

Dear Oily,

I know it’s important to dilute my essential oils in a carrier oil because I’ve read your post here. But I get really tired of diluting my oils every single time I want to use them. When I come home from the gym, I just want to be able to rub PanAway on my sore muscles without dragging out bottles and jars.

How can I pre-dilute my oils and have them ready to use when I need them?

Please Salve My Problems!

Dear Salve,

This is quite a problem! Who wants to be hunting for the jar of coconut oil every time you want a back rub? We want our oils and we want them now!

Fortunately, I know just the thing for you: a simple salve.

Once you know how to make a simple salve, you’ll never need to be hand mixing your oils on the spot again. You’ll have all sorts of salve jars ready-made and on hand: post workout rubs, sleepy time salves, sexy massage mixtures, and immune supporting ointments!

Don’t worry, “salve” makes it sound fancier and more complicated than it really is. You’re going to blow all your friends away when you tell them you know how to make a salve. They’ll never need to know that all it takes is two ingredients and four simple steps.
Four steps to make a simple salve with essential oils DIY Recipe | Hot Pink Crunch